The undertaker’s daughter

Terrified at a reading to read
poems about my fears & shames,

a voice in me said: Just
open your mouth. Now

I read about Anubis, the God of Egypt
who ushered the dead

to the underworld, who performed the ritual of
the opening of the mouth

so they could
see, hear & eat.

Had it been my father speaking,
giving me back that

depth of taste & color,
fineness of sound

that his rages stifled,
though I had hoped

all my life that my father would feed me
the milk my mother could not

make from her body.
Once, when I opened the door & saw

him shaving, naked, the sole of his foot
resting on the toilet, I thought

those things hanging down were
udders. From then on I understood there was a

female part he hid—something
soft & unprotected

I shouldn’t see.

fineness of sound
that his rages stifled,

 

XXXXXXX—from The Undertaker’s Daughter