Terrified at a reading to read
poems about my fears & shames,
a voice in me said: Just
open your mouth. Now
I read about Anubis, the God of Egypt
who ushered the dead
to the underworld, who performed the ritual of
the opening of the mouth
so they could
see, hear & eat.
Had it been my father speaking,
giving me back that
depth of taste & color,
fineness of sound
that his rages stifled,
though I had hoped
all my life that my father would feed me
the milk my mother could not
make from her body.
Once, when I opened the door & saw
him shaving, naked, the sole of his foot
resting on the toilet, I thought
those things hanging down were
udders. From then on I understood there was a
female part he hid—something
soft & unprotected
I shouldn’t see.
fineness of sound
that his rages stifled,
—from The Undertaker’s Daughter